This has been one of those weeks that’s left me feeling like an utter and complete failure. For everything one thing I’ve managed to do well, I’ve completely screwed up at least 3 others. At least that’s how it feels.
My sister’s friend once commented that on those days when your kids are seemingly into everything and getting into trouble from wake up to bedtime…those are the days where they are really learning. The days when everything is easy are the days when they aren’t really learning anything at all.
If she’s right, then this week has been one long learning opportunity after another.
And I hate it.
I’m tired of feeling behind the eight ball.
I’m tired of being so far behind in every area of my life that I may never dig my way out.
I’m tired of being on the verge of tears every other hour.
I’m tired of realizing that I missed yet another opportunity, screwed up yet another interaction with a person, illustrated yet again what an unloving and ungrateful heart I have.
And right now, I don’t have any words of encouragement either. I’m empty. I’ve been reading Galatians all week, but I’m in such a fog that I don’t think a word of it has sunk in. I guess I should move on to Ephesians. Or Psalms. Or something that doesn’t remind me that I also don’t have the mental energy to consider something more complex than “The Lord is my shepherd; I have everything I need.” (Ps 23:1 NLT).
So that’s where I am this week. I guess I’ll just try to be honestly grateful for the lessons learned and keep seeking for Jesus in the minutes of my days.
And I’ll happily accept prayers on my behalf, too. Thanks.
