The Gravity of the Negatives

To be fair,  yesterday was not a horrible. There was a lot of good in it. But have you ever noticed that negative stuff draws you in. Even though you can see good things, the gravity of the negatives pulls on you, and it’s really hard to break away from.

Good Stuff 

I started the morning at the school for a science assembly the PTO brought in. That turned out to be really fun! The kids enjoyed it, and I got some fun pictures and videos so that parents could see how it went. So, a good start. After a quick lunch, I headed to the dentist. This was also good, for a number of reasons.

1. On Monday, I found out I had stress fractures in one of my teeth and needed a crown, so we scheduled an appointment for next Monday. Then they had a cancellation, so I got in 5 days early. Good stuff!
2. The dentist is not a scary place in my world. In fact, it’s kind of relaxing: quiet, calm, periods of work mixed with periods of sitting and reading in the chair. I don’t hate it.
3. The office has fun toys, and they don’t mind me geeking out about them. Dr. Laaper showed me how he used the Cad program and a 3D router to make crowns in the office, which means the process takes about 2 hours instead of the three weeks it used to take sending impressions to a lab. I thought it was cool.

Unfortunately, after that, the day kind of skewed into a wintry mix of circumstances. And the gravity of the negatives started to get to me.

The Negatives

I ended up leaving the dentist’s office late (bad), which meant I was going to miss the parent pick-up line at school (bad). I called the secretary so no one worried, and the kids just went to the office to wait for me. (Good) The drive is typically 25 minutes, but I met a continuous stream of slow traffic, pick-ups pulling trailers, road crews, cement mixers and semis that made me even later than I was. (Bad) My kids scolded me for being late (bad), but my friend reminded me she could always pick them up for me (good), which I’d forgotten in my rush to get back. I was going to take the twins to the bank to cash their fair checks (good), so we hurried home to get those. I’d meant to stop on my way to the school, but again, I was late and delayed. (Bad) We jumped out, grabbed snacks and the checks, pottied quickly, and climbed back in. I pulled out of the driveway and thought, “My car sounds really loud.” (Bad)

Getting Worse

The van was also pulling hard to the left (bad), and I lost traction down a big hill (bad), so at the first road, I pulled off. My back tire was FLAT. (REALLY Bad) So giving up my plan to go to the bank (bad), we slowly took the back road around to our road and pulled into the farm which was on the way (good) and the kids had wanted to see Grandma anyway, so they got to do that (good). I was planning to leave the van until Eric could deal with it after work and walk the kids home. Instead, my mother-in-law drove us home, and my father-in-law stopped what he was doing to look at my tire. (SUPER good) Also, by now, my face was starting to hurt from a two-hour dentist appointment (bad), and I was supposed to not chew until at least 7. So dinner was going to be delayed (disappointing). So we got home and finished our homework. Then I let the kids play while I did some work and tried to ignore my slowly re-sensitizing face. [Sidebar: The weirdest part was when I had enough nerves for it to itch, but not enough to feel myself scratching.] Eric called as well to let me know he’d be home late (bad), and then we just waited it out. Eventually I got dinner started (good), the kids didn’t complain much about it (good), and it tasted good (good). I cleaned up from dinner. The kids played, and we picked up my van from the farm (my father-in-law had patched 2 holes), so crisis averted. (Lots of good)

The Gravity of the Negatives

Still, I was surprised. The day had so much good in it. Lots of people who were beyond helpful. No real catastrophes. There was a lot of laughter and fun in the day, too. Really, it was a good day. But the gravity of the negatives nearly dragged me right over the cliff. I had to try really hard not to snap at my kids. I struggled to keep making forward motion. The pain in my jaw was hard to ignore. It happens that way a lot. An entirely good day is derailed by one bad thing. Someone’s unkind words send me into a tailspin. A handful of negatives suck me into a black hole of ungratefulness and grumbling. I’m not sure I have a major fix for it. Reminding myself that the day is God’s is a good start. Choosing to say thanks and focusing on the good things helps. An Advil doesn’t hurt either. But we also may simply need to acknowledge that negatives have a stronger pull on us than positives. We need a lot of positive to undo a single negative: in words, in circumstances, in attitude. That’s our reality. And I guess the only solution I can suggest is to simply remind us that we need grace. For ourselves, when we find ourselves sucked into the black hole of negativity. And for others, when they’re mired in the muck as well. It’s not easy, sure. But grace can give us a sure thing to hold onto when the negatives are threatening to pull us in. Let’s try to give more grace.