I want to engage my life. I want you to engage yours. And I am slowly grasping the truth that engagement is all about taking responsibility.
The Choice
In The Matrix, Morpheus offers Neo a choice: two pills. One will return him to his floating-in-the-goo existence where his whole life happens only in his mind. The other will wake him up. He’ll be living for the very first time.
Neo takes the red pill. He accepts “knowledge, freedom, uncertainty, and the brutal truths of reality.” And as a result, he discovers that his life is much more than he’d ever realized.
Up until that moment in the movie, Neo had seen hints that there was more going on than he was experiencing. After that moment, he realized that life was more brutal than he’d ever realized. It was gritty and harsh. The stakes were much higher than he’d understood. But the rewards were even more worthwhile than he could have imagined.
A Shadow Life
I’ve spent much of the last decade, maybe longer if I’m honest, living a life that was a shadow of what I could have done. Maybe you know what I mean.
Of course, I’ve done very significant things in those years: marriage, motherhood, homemaking. I’ve invested in friends and other moms. I’ve done good things. But I also wasted a lot of time. A lot. I’ve been terribly afraid. And the result was, for lack of a better term, a shadow life.
My life has been good. I have grown and learned and done amazing things. But I’ve also shied away from doing real things that I’ve always wanted to do. I’ve stayed shallow when I could have gone deep. I kept myself tied to the boat so I didn’t risk drowning.
So I haven’t achieved what I was capable of. I haven’t written books for myself. I’ve dismissed my ideas before I ever really considered them. I’ve waited for other people to tap me to do great things, come speak to their group, or write something amazing.
And I’m finally ready to change.
Taking Responsibility
I have to own my own life. It’s not up to Eric. Or my kids. Or my church or the PTO or the neighbors or the internet to guide and direct my life. It’s my life. So it’s my responsibility.
And for the first time, maybe in my entire life, I’m done shying away. No more shadows. No more wishing from the sidelines while others play the game. No more envy when those who’ve been hustling see returns on their investments.
The first step is taking responsibility. It’s choosing to own the strengths and the weaknesses, the good and the bad, the possibilities for success and failure. No more shadows. I want to live.
Maybe you’re in a similar boat. Maybe you have lived in shadows of your own making. Maybe you need a big change.
I’m going to explore this idea on this blog. I’m going to let you see my journey. I’m inviting you to come along. I’m sure I’ll need the encouragement along the way.
But let’s do this.
Let’s own our lives. Let’s decide what we want our life to be and then baby step and stumble our way toward it. Let’s cheer each other on. Let’s not waste another minute.
Let’s engage.
