Dangerous mindsets are patterns of thought that become our defaults in an unhealthy way. They can look like one-way streets. But another dangerous mindset involves threats and shadows.
Threats and Shadows
Some of us, either from experience or because of how we’re wired, see everything around us in terms of threats and shadows. By that, I mean that we are constantly (and often unknowingly) evaluating our surroundings and people and circumstances for danger. Everything is a threat. Every shadow is suspect. We are in fear of our lives or well-being. All the time.
The threats and shadows mindset isn’t really about living some imaginary spy life, like Walter Mitty. (Anyone else have to read that short story in high school?) At its heart, this dangerous mindset is about fear, that at any moment the ground will give way under our feet and we will freefall to destruction. It sounds dramatic. But mostly it’s terrifying.
And for those of us who have developed this mindset, thinking in terms of threats and shadows offers an upside-down sense of safety.
Life Preservers and Flashlights
Dangerous mindsets like this one always result in default reactions and though processes that run through our minds without any intentional control. So we develop our own version of “safety equipment” to keep us from drowning in our fear.
This mindset can sometimes involve imagining crises: a house fire, a car crash, a person’s threatening presence when you’re alone in a parking lot. We live in fear of our physical life. The crises don’t have to be grounded in reality. Only possibility. But these threats and shadows require a lot of looking over your shoulder.
That kind of hyper-awareness, however, becomes dangerous. We can never relax or let down our guard. We expect spy-movie-level gun battles in every restaurant we enter. At least we act as if that’s what we’re expecting. So we sit stiffly, necks tense. Because, after all, we never know when the threat will appear.
For most of us, though, the mindset is more internal. We aren’t concerned about physical dangers as much as mental or emotional worries. We may spend hours overthinking our circumstances, evaluating each angle and trying to determine the best (or all top ten) possible responses ahead of time. After all, if we can know going in what we should say and do in any given iteration of the circumstances, then … what?
Then, we will be safe, of course. And of course, our safety is entirely on us. We can’t trust people (not entirely) because they may be the next threat or shadow. We can’t put down our shields (anger or sarcasm, for example) because then we will be vulnerable to whatever terrible thing is going to happen next. And we are sucked into an every-tightening whirlpool of fear.
Being Rescued
These coping mechanisms are, of course, exhausting. To live at this level of tension and mental activity means there’s not a second of peace. Peace is the opposite of threats and shadows.
The reality is, though, that we want peace. We live this way, defaulting to this dangerous mindset, because we are desperately longing for some peace. For quiet and calm and a sense that our world has an actual foundation. It’s just that we figure we have to work for it.
Here’s the hope I want to speak to you today: We don’t. We do not have to earn our peace. Or work so hard for it. Nor does it depend entirely on us. We can be rescued from this dangerous mindset.
Truth Instead
Truth is the solution to this mindset. It sounds kind of simplistic, I’m sure. But until we start basing our reactions on truth, we will continue to live in a maelstrom of threats and shadows. There will be no rest. There will be no peace.
The truth is simple. We are not under attack all the time. There is no danger right.this.minute. We do not have to figure it all out or have to have all the answers for every possible outcome. We don’t have to default to these lies that whisper from the very shadows we are so terrified of.
So we have to start calling those whispers out. We start by asking our thoughts if they’re true. We start by simply declaring that they are not true. Say to yourself: I am not under attack right now. Remind yourself: having one or two responses planned is normal, needing 30 is not. Purposely relax your neck and shoulders, telling your own body, “There is no threat.”
And, if there is a threat, you’ll often have an entirely different reaction than this mindset encourages. Real danger inspires a practical, immediate response. Threats and shadows are imaginary, so my fears and responses are vague and overwhelming. When there is a true danger to myself or my family, I don’t go into threats-and-shadows mode. And likely neither do you. This reality can help you determine a real threat from a dangerous mindset.
The second part of this solution: let others in. You are not obligated to protect yourself all the time, in every way. You may have begrudgingly turned over a thing, maybe two, to a husband, partner, or friend. But you are clinging desperately to far more. Let them go. Choose to depend on those whom you already trust. Let them prove themselves reliable. Not perfect, but trustworthy. They are wanting for you the same peace you want for yourself. Let them in.
Third part: let God in. The Bible is full of passages and psalms where God himself promises us his protection and deliverance. We are not alone. He fights for us. He sees us. Find those verses. Pray for God to bring to your attention a particular reference that will speak specifically to your heart.
He did this for me. As I was dealing with this mindset, the same passage of Scripture kept coming up: Psalm 27:13-14. It was on Facebook, in a book I was reading, everywhere. Finally, wrapped in Eric’s arms as he held me through yet another panic attack, he said, “You know, a verse comes to mind as you’re telling me this. It’s Psalms 27:13-14.” And then he quoted it to me again. I shook my head, almost chuckling despite my internal struggle. Those verses are my anchor even still. I come back to them repeatedly. For reasons I don’t entirely understand, they speak truth to my fears and dispel my imaginary threats.
Maybe Psalm 27 will help you. Maybe God has another passage for you. But when we are tethered to God’s Word, the truth of who he is and all that he has promised will begin to defeat the lies about what we fear.
You do not have to live in fear. You can have peace. Threats and shadows do not have to be the default setting of your life. Choose truth today.
