Turning the Corner

At least I hope we have.  And by “we,” I mean me, of course.

The last week has been emotionally exhausting.  I haven’t felt well because I’ve had a cold and they seriously messed with my blood sugar.  I have cried, gotten angry, been filled with despair, and still had my moments of good humor.  I’ve had to admit my frustrations and anger with God and myself, my ‘real’ reasons for being upset about having gestational diabetes again, and my own refusal to surrender the circumstances to God because I wanted to sulk some more.  

But in the end, the phone call came.  It was the news I didn’t want.  And it can’t be changed now. 

So we move on.

I did decide to start this time with an experiment (my very-smart husband’s idea).  I started checking my sugar again after meals, while eating pretty much exactly as I have been eaten these days.  And not surprisingly, my blood sugar readings haven’t been high once.  Even after eating chocolate chips straight from the bag yesterday at lunch as I usually do (it’s my one vice, and typically my only dessert in a day).  Which means that, as I suspected, being diagnosed with GD doesn’t really have any practical meaning in daily life.  

It’s really funny to me, actually.  Two hours after I eat, I’m supposed to have readings of 120 or lower when I check my blood.  Two hours after eating my normal lunch (with chocolate chips), my level was 119.  A normal dinner registered at 98.  My typical breakfast was 81.  Yep…it would seem I have serious trouble with my blood sugar. Or not.  

Of course, I will probably still have to prick my fingers four times a day for the next 11 weeks.  And the OB’s office will still act like I’m always thisclose to my blood sugar spiraling out of control.  And if anything changes, they’ll send me to the dietician (a visit which I have been forgiven for now since I don’t really need a refresher course).

But, it would seem right now that I can pretty much eat as I always do and not worry too much that my sugar will not be too high. (There are a few things I learned the last time that it’s better to avoid, but I don’t often eat those things anyway.)  And I’m working to ‘take every thought captive’ and not just rehearse my issues with the whole GD ‘thing’ every chance I get to whomever will listen.  

And hopefully, as we move forward, we can keep the frustration down this time.  And by “we,” I mean me and God.

Oh, and you guys, too.  Thanks for your prayers and encouragement. And for commiserating with me.  Feel free to pray for me every once in a while, if you think of it.  It’s still not fun.  And it hurts to prick your fingers so often.  And, well, 11 weeks, though short in the greater scheme of things, is still a long haul.  But you helped me more than you know, as usual.

So here’s to turning corners…happy Wednesday!

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