Here’s Where I Am

So I don’t normally do politics. And the current climate is enough to make any thought of sharing ideas somewhat concerning. But I need to record my thoughts. You are not obliged to read them or to agree.

First, let me begin with the strange reality that, three weeks from election day, I still am not settled about my vote. I am a firm believer in the need to vote, so simply staying home is not an option. Which leaves me with Bad Choice #1, Bad Choice #2, and Not-Real-Options #3. It’s kind of infuriating, really. But that’s where I am.

On to my observations…

1. I am appalled by the way that both sides have behaved in this election. I doubt it’s really different than usual, but with the immediacy of Facebook and social media, the slams come faster and the sound bites sting unexpectedly like sitting down on a wasp we didn’t realize was there.

The thing is, most of the antagonism has come down to this: “We disagree, therefore I am right and you are stupid.” I have lost count of how many times my intelligence has been insulted (or the intelligence of someone on ‘the other side’) simply because we don’t see things the same way. Y’ALL. I am not stupid. I’m not.

First, no matter who I vote for, I am doing serious amounts of soul-searching and thinking about it. And second, BOTH sides have people who are voting blindly. Neither side has the handle on smart, thinking voters. The left is “appalled” that so many would “mindlessly” support Trump, but they are counting on thousands and thousands of voters who will vote for HRC rather “mindlessly,” too. And vice versa. But bottom line, the issue is NOT stupidity. So please stop with the insults.

2. There has been a great cultural shift over the last many years, requiring us to acknowledge everyone’s experience as unique. And that is good in many ways. But it’s also problematic. Because we have finally come to a place where we aren’t allowed to disagree with each other. There is no longer any room for honest and respectful disagreement. And that is not okay.

I read recently about a lady who’s therapist was really good at “holding space” for her to come to her own conclusions about things. I so very much wish that were true in our culture right now. And, as much as I’d like to say it used to be like that…and maybe it kind of was…in many ways it’s never been like that. There have always been a lot of people who’s ideas were not allowed in, in a lot of arenas — academic, political, business, cultural — simply because they were different.

But differing is not a bad thing. In holding space for each other’s differences, and differences of opinions, like that woman’s therapist, we would actually let people come through on their own. They would see the honest reflection of themselves and the way out, without our help and without our insults.

I’m convinced that I need to work harder to simply hold space for people whose ideas and experiences are different from mine. It really hurts because so far, the FB posts and sound bites have been painful. I think, “You don’t even know me. You’re talking about me, but I’m not anything like what you’re describing!” It’s hard. But I’m trying to hold room for the opinions anyway. It’s respectful. It opens the lines of communication instead of closing them. It means we see each other as valuable and important and REAL people. And it really is okay if, in the final analysis, we disagree.

3. And then, yesterday, I had this moment of clarity. And this may be the most important take-away I have for this entire election. No matter which one I end up voting for.

Because I was trying for all I was worth to wrap my head around it all, and I couldn’t. The reality is, there is no candidate or party in this election that is speaking for me. Not one. And I have no idea what to do with that. All the choices are bad. None of them are who I want or the platform that represents me. Ack!

And then I realized…for how many people in our country is this true of every election? Or even most elections? It’s consuming my thinking because it is so strange to me. I’ve NEVER had this happen before. Someone always speaks for me. And this time, they don’t. But how many of my friends, my neighbors, feel this kind of frustration and alienation every.single.time? For reasons of race or religion or class or economic status or education…for how many people is this the norm? And what can we do about it?

The answer is…I have no freakin’ idea. But I’m incredibly glad for the thought. Not because I’m enjoying the torture that is this election. But because I can actually recognize that everyone should have a voice. And it hurts when you don’t.

SO there you go…some random thoughts on Election 2016. I hope I can figure out what to do, and I hope y’all will give me the grace to fumble through on this one, and hopefully, we’ll find a way to come closer together on the other side of November 8. And no matter who you decide to stand with…please…go vote. It really does matter.

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