Much has been said recently on the abuse of power involved in situations of sexual assault. How someone (usually male, but not always) thinks, “I am ________ (rich, powerful, important, me); therefore, your body belongs to me if I want it.” It’s offensive. Horrific. Untenable. It is wrong.
But there has been, in all of this discussion, a real silence that concerns me. The focus has been on one man, but as I’ve pondered the whole thing, I’m beginning to wonder about that fact.
Because the abuse of power is not limited to sexual arenas.
- It’s the pastor who uses charisma and the Bible to bully and control his congregation.
- It’s politicians who believe that a position of leadership guarantees them the right to do or say whatever they want…or to force whatever legislation fits their purposes. On either side of an aisle.
- It’s the woman who controls the PTO/PTA and uses it to manage other parents and the school’s culture or even to skim money off the books (in extreme cases).
- It’s the newspaper editor or reporter who uses stories or the timing of released videos (our recent example) to affect the outcome that he or she most wants to see.
The truth is, we are all tempted by the lure of power. Every.last.one.of.us. No one, on either side of the aisle, has a soapbox to stand on. No one, in any denomination, can point a finger. No politician, stay-at-home mom, pastor, accountant, or farmer has any leg to stand on when it comes to pointing fingers about the abuse of power. We ALL do it.
I bully my kids to get my way (“Because I said so,” right?). The girls in junior high bullied me (and others) so they could prove their control of the group. My brother used “Mom left me in charge” to get us to do all the chores. I’ve known of (and worked under) more than one supervisor who bullied and tore down and micromanaged. Principals control their schools. Pastors manipulate their people. Men and women at all levels coerce another person into sexual acts they either do not want or go along with because they really don’t feel like they can refuse.
When we have power, we hold favors, belonging, acceptance, jobs, promotions, money (and on and on) over other people. And it is all abuse of power. All of it.
That doesn’t make it right. Of course it doesn’t. But, taking our recent example, if someone really cared about the abuse of sexual power in Washington, then they should be calling for a capital-wide cleansing of every Senator, Congressman, Judge or chief of staff who has ever behaved this way, too. And we need to apply this rule to governors, attorneys general, and cabinet members at every level. If the abuse of power is wrong, then let’s go after it.
But instead, the entire conversation was a weapon. An abuse of power, itself. Against one man. Whom (you will remember) I may or may not vote for, so please don’t hear this as an endorsement either way.
What it is…is a cry of frustration. The abuse of power is ALWAYS wrong. There is not ONE of us who can honestly say we’ve never abused our power in some arena. NONE of the political candidates, in particular, is free of guilt in this area.
And we must, we MUST, do better. All of us. In the halls of Washington. In issues of social justice. At the New York Times and CNN and Fox News. In the boardrooms and cubicles. At the gyms and bars and grocery stores and PTOs and car dealerships. Everywhere! We all have power over someone. Over something.
And we also have a choice. As we have seen illustrated over and over, we can abuse that power. OR we can use that power to protect. The opposite of to abuse is to PROTECT.
I cannot do much about the house of horrors that this year’s election has become. But I can choose differently, myself. So can you. So can “they.” Today, let us ALL look for ways we can PROTECT each other, lift each other up, stand in the gap for someone else. Just because I “can” do something, never means I should. Let’s remember that. ALL of us.
