Scared

So I am pretty much a scaredy cat. I have been since I was a little kid.

Before I was 7, I learned the song “Found a Peanut.” It was rotten, you know, and the person dies and goes to heaven. And I remember lying awake at night fretting over how I would know if a peanut was rotten just by looking at it. And, I kid you not, I did not eat peanuts for years afterwards because of it. Yep…scaredy cat. To this day, I can imagine all sorts of things coming out of the shadows at me (mummies scared me as a little kid, now it’s more like robbers in the house), and the shows or movies I watch have a huge effect on my ability or inability to get my rational side back in control when I wake up at 3 am.

And it turns out…my little dude has a mind that works just like mine in this area. 

He is very easily scared these days. He’s got a whole list of things that he calls “scary” and he will stubbornly refuse to function if one of those things interrupts his life. 

Like our neighbors’ halloween decorations. The primary offender is a couple of doors down – a white “scream” mask with a long black fabric “body” that they hang above their garage and it blows in the wind for the entire month of October. Bad enough, until I realized a few months ago (long after Halloween) that Alex was refusing to walk by their house when the garage door was open because it was hanging inside and you can see it. He was so scared of the seed pods in the honey locust tree (I think) next door that he wouldn’t walk down the sidewalk without me holding his hand. There was a large fan hanging on the wall of the shop at the farm (he would not go in until Eric took it off the wall). Then there were the two red lights that represented the dragon in his cave at VBS a couple of weeks ago (it never actually appeared) + its loud roar sent my son into a massive fit. And the sculpture outside of the swimming place was the most recent “scary thing” that was brought to my attention. 

I never know what or where something will strike him as scary. And while he often doesn’t freak out at the time, he tends to hold it in mind and dwell on it at bedtime. So he has trouble falling asleep, though once he’s out, he’s usually good for the night.

Then last night happened. For the first time ever, he was so scared by an early dream (at 9:30 he called me in to tell me his pillow was growing a big green “rumor weed”) that he couldn’t settle down to sleep. He was back up at 10:30 and then for the entire midnight hour, wanting me to sit with him because “everything in the house” was scary. His nightlight, the recliner in their room, the ceiling fan…all kept his little mind imagining things that weren’t there, and he could not get to sleep. 

So far, I’m only barely ahead of him. I know what works to get my mind out of scared mode, but translating those things down to a 3-year-old’s level is difficult. I don’t want to blow him off, but I don’t want to make it worse either. And at midnight when I just want to go back to sleep, it’s hard to think of how to help him.

Usually, we talk about our F verse (“Fear not, for I am with you.” ) and how Jesus is with us so we don’t have to be afraid. Then we pray about whatever is bothering him. That didn’t really work last night. I tried comforting, doing nothing, pointing out the reality instead of what he was imagining. Nothing worked (and it was midnight, remember). Finally, I tried a thankful approach. “Don’t be anxious, but in everything…with thanksgiving…” is sometimes the only way to get my mind off the freak-out track. So in a last-ditch effort, I started praying with him a long list of thank-you’s. I would say “Thank you, Jesus, for (something)”; then he would repeat it.  It took about 10 minutes, but he finally managed to drift off and slept the rest of the night. 

Still, I am not sure how else to help my little dude. So many things scare him. It’s a difficult reality to help him address. So seriously, if you’ve dealt with similar stuff, I’d love to hear some suggestions of what you’ve done with your little ones. 

Anyway, I guess that’s all for today. 

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