We need to find ways to mark our place. When we read, we use bookmarks. But in life, we sometimes feel like marking our place makes us “less than.” Not being able to do it all means I’m somehow not enough.
If I was just a better mom, we think. A better student, housekeeper, spouse, worker, then we wouldn’t need to mark our place. We’d somehow manage to get it all done, all the time. But of course, we can’t. No one can.
And then we see memes like this:
It’s supposed to make me laugh, and I do. But it also reminds me that I’m not enough. I can’t do it all, and I hate to be a quitter. But now “they” judge me for putting down my book to, you know, keep children alive or something. “You can’t stop. That’s a ‘quitter strip.’ You’re not enough.” *sigh*
So is it really quitting to mark our place? No, of course not. In fact, the concept of bookmarks is a powerful one that can keep us moving in life and in our favorite novel.
The Hard Days
A few years back, I was drowning in “the trenches,” the season of parenting littles. My kids were 4, 4, 2, & 5 months. We’d just moved to a new location where I had zero friends. And my husband worked 90 minutes away. It was really hard. And to top it off, we were living in a tiny doublewide with our stuff piled up to our ears so we’d have room for our too-large couch and a collection of toys.
But do you know what else I squeezed into the living room? My treadmill. Not because I’m some uber-fitness nerd. Because I needed it. There was no one to leave the kids with to go to a gym. And it was too cold to exercise outside. But I was struggling. I was stressed. And sad. And drowning in my loneliness. So I squeezed in my treadmill, and I walked on it almost every morning.
Of course, it was in the middle in a tiny house. So I’d just barely get started when little people would wake up and want breakfast. Or they couldn’t hear their cartoon over the treadmill. Or someone spilled something, needed something, blew out a diaper. I’d barely get 10 minutes on that treadmill, and for a while, it drove me nuts. I felt like a failure.
But that time on my treadmill. It was a bookmark.
I was marking my place in a season and a situation that was very hard. Much as I wanted to exercise for 30 or 45 minutes, it just wasn’t going to happen. Part of me wanted to quit. All I can do is 10 minutes, but what’s the good in that?
A lot of good, as it turned out.
Marking Your Place
Whether we’re talking about exercise or Bible reading or prayer or writing thank you cards or washing the dishes every night, there will always be a voice that whispers for you to quit. It’s not enough, what little you can do. Just give up, it says. But don’t.
Instead, do the 10 minutes. Do what you can, no matter how small. This isn’t quitting. In fact, it’s the exact opposite of quitting.
It’s a bookmark. A promise to yourself that this is worth doing. This creative outlet. This time with your spouse. This one chapter in your book. This whatever is worth doing. You might not be able to give it the time or attention you want, but it’s too important to let go. So you mark the place … just like a bookmark.
That’s the key. The plan is not permanent. The bookmark is not the end. It’s a stop gap. It keeps you from having to start from scratch every time, which helps you build, a little at a time, to get to where you want to be. Imagine having to start a book from page 1 every time you picked it up. If you stop for any reason, you have to start over.
We would never read. It would be simply too depressing. So we mark our page. We pick up where we left off instead of having to start from scratch, and eventually, we make it through. It might be in fits and starts. But we finish.
It’s the same thing for habits, for activities we know we want to do. Starting a new habit is hard. I have to find time, and a place, and the discipline to do it again. And re-starting isn’t any easier. But building up from a small habit is entirely do-able.
Yes, I could only do 10 minutes on my treadmill for that moment, for that season. It wasn’t all I wanted, but by keeping it in my schedule, I marked its place. When I did finally have more time for it, I didn’t have to re-create time and intention in my schedule. I could add five minutes at a time to what I was already doing.
That’s the power of marking your place. That’s the beauty of the bookmark. It’s not a “quitter strip.” It’s a powerful tool that can help you get where you want to go.
E
